Loving Ourselves, Loving Each Other: Bianca & Saima
Bianca was born and raised in Los Angeles and is from a mixed Caribbean Colombian and South Indian background. She is a DJ and music producer living with her wife Saima and their dog Sahara in Long Beach. Saima is an OC native from a Pakistani background working in supply chain management. She loves camping, hiking, and any outdoor activity with her wife Bianca and their dog Sahara.
Tell me the story of how you met. What do you remember thinking about one another?
Bianca: We met through mutual friends at a poetry event. I was initially attracted to Saima and thought she had great energy.
Saima: I thought Bianca was beautiful and was interested to know more about her.
How would each of you describe your relationship? What’s your favorite thing about your relationship?
Bianca: I would describe it as fun and evolving. My favorite thing about our relationship is how loving and supportive it is.
Saima: I would describe it as comforting because we’re always there for each other. My favorite thing is that I can be myself and never feel judged by her.
Compliment shower: name 5 things you love about one another.
Bianca: I love Saima’s kindness, integrity, thoughtfulness, humor, and style!
Saima: I love Bianca’s intelligence, cuddles, and how outgoing, considerate and loving she is.
What is one thing you’ve taught/learned from one another?
Bianca: Saima has taught me how to be more assertive and put myself out there.
Saima: Bianca has taught me patience and how to step back, slow down and take time for myself.
Describe your favorite memory together, one you’ll never forget & why.
Our favorite memory together is our trip to Bali in the beginning of our relationship. It was truly an unforgettable adventure that we both think back to often. We spent 2 1/2 weeks exploring different parts of Bali and loved it. We’d love the chance to go back there once it’s safe to travel again.
In what ways do you support each other? How do you inspire one another creatively?
Saima: I try and push Bianca out of her comfort zone and motivate her in creative pursuits. I’m a very organized person so I help Bianca get more organized but she helps me balance my work because I have a busy schedule so she helps me take breaks and time for myself.
Bianca: Saima helps me be more creative with cooking, because that is her art form so I learn new recipes and ways of cooking from her. She also helps me be less of a procrastinator! I think I definitely help her just relax because if I wasn’t around she’d work all the time haha.
What are some of your love languages?
Bianca: Physical touch, quality time & sharing music.
Saima: Physical touch, acts of service & cooking together.
Do you consider your relationship to be romantic? What does romance look like for you?
Bianca: Yes I consider our relationship, actually our marriage, to be romantic. Acts of romance to me include how Saima cooks for me, always opens the door for me, plans cute surprises & is always showering me with affection.
Saima: Bianca plans special evenings for us, leaves me cute notes, packs my lunch, and always makes me feel appreciated.
What color and animal do you feel best reflects the other person?
Saima: I feel like purple for Bianca. It reminds me of her. The animal that reminds me of Bianca is a wild horse because she’s free spirited and sometimes stubborn.
Bianca: I feel like Saima has a very golden aura I don’t know how to explain it. Her animal is our dog Sahara. They are literally connected spiritually and have similar OCD personalities.
How does your ethnic background / identity bring you closer? How does each of your upbringings effect your relationship?
Saima: It brings us closer because we have a lot of commonality but are also unique. We are both South Asian but we are from different backgrounds and Bianca is also Latina. So we are always learning from each other. Our upbringings were both religious and strict so that also allows us to have a deeper appreciation and understanding for each other.
Bianca: We had similar life paths growing up so that definitely brought us closer and allowed us to be vulnerable with each other. I’m always learning more about my own South Asian culture through her and I love sharing my Latin culture with her as well.
What are 5 qualities that you believe are essential to a healthy & happy relationship?
Bianca & Saima: Respect, trust, being yourself, vulnerability & having fun.
Have you ever fought? How do you navigate disagreements? How do you reconcile?
Yes of course we fight, they are usually small arguments about silly things so we try to just give each other space to process our emotions and communicate respectfully.
What does your love feel like to one another? When do you feel closest to each other?
Bianca: Our love feels like that perfect California day where it’s sunny and warm but with a cool light breeze and all the flowers feel like they are in bloom.
Saima: Our love feels like warm snuggles in bed while it’s cold outside.
Where do you see your relationship this time next year?
Hopefully out of the house lol.
Do you believe that relationships between womxn/femmes are essential to each of your wellbeing? Explain why these kinds of relationships are important for growth & safety.
Yes we absolutely believe relationships between womxn/femmes is essential to our well being, we are blessed to have a lot of friends, from diverse backgrounds and gender identities but there is something special about our inner circle of womxn/femme friends. There is nothing that compares to that connection, bond and chosen family that is formed.
