Loving Ourselves, Loving Each Other: Sana & Rosie

Sana Javeri Kadri was born & raised in Mumbai, India. She’s the founder of Diaspora Co., a direct trade spice company working towards a radically equitable, sustainable, and more delicious spice supply chain.

Rosie Russell was born & raised on the island of Alameda, CA. She’s a rugby player / soon-to be chiropractor at Life Chiropractic College West.

Tell me the story of how you met. What do you remember thinking about one another?

Sana: She was totally my type (athletic and dorky), and so I figured she was a safe bet for my first foray into the world of Tinder. Given how platonic the first date felt (we even talked about our exes which made it feel extra un-sexy!), I never would’ve thought we’d end up boo-ed up as ever six years later.

Rosie: Blindly swiping through Tinder. We refer to our first “date” as an awkward hike because it felt very platonic and there was barely a hug at the end of it. I do remember thinking S was v cute and pretty dorky, which I loved. Plus she rocked the fact that she was wearing jeans with a hole in the crotch.

How would each of you describe your relationship? What’s your favorite thing about your relationship?

Sana: Recently date nights have actually ended in arguments/blowout fights, so thank god we love and laugh with each other in the day to day haha!

Rosie: I would describe it as loving and supportive. My favorite thing is that we have a really lovely day to day life - we’re both busy AF, so it’s crucial that we’re able to find joy together in the otherwise mundane daily things because we don’t always have time to go out for a hot date night.

Compliment shower: name 5 things you love about one another?

Sana:
1. Confidence
2. Booty 👅
3. Grit
4. Big heart
5. Nerdiness

Rosie:
1. Dad humor / always makes me laugh
2. Booty, hehe.
3. Hardest working person I’ve ever met
4. So supportive of my career and big dreams
5. Perfect eyebrows.

What is one thing you’ve taught/learned from one another?

Sana: Being with Rosie has taught me to be very aware of the intersections of race, class, and culture. Between us, we’re navigating so many different universes, and I’ve really appreciated how much our relationship forces me to acknowledge my privileges, and be more aware of how my worldview is highly subjective, and often needs reviewing!

Rosie: It’s still a work in progress but I’ve learned how to be better at communicating things - i.e. my feelings, my wants / needs.

Describe your favorite memory together, one you’ll never forget & why.

Sana: Definitely our first trip to India together in Nov 2019! It was Rosie’s first time in India, and instead of having the luxury of vacationing/gently experiencing this new country, she gamely joined me on a whirlwind sourcing trip to all four corners of India. Having her with me, visiting our farm partners, understanding why I do what I do, it was such a special time. Now, I miss her terribly on all my solo business trips.

Rosie: Ooo prob my 26th bday surprise trip to the Harbor House Inn - it was the most gorgeous place we’ve ever stayed at and everything about it was magical. I remember feeling incredibly blessed that Sana went out of her way to plan every detail of this special trip for me.

In what ways do you support each other? How do you inspire one another creatively?

Sana: Rosie has never once questioned my big, big dreams, and my competitive, ambitious nature. Instead, she’s the one that sees all the tears, all the meltdowns, all the low lows, and still she gently pushes me through it all.

Rosie: I think that she’s championed v hard for me always since we met - whether I was moving furniture or playing rugby or being a chiropractor-in-training, she’s always been my biggest fan. She also holds me accountable to my goals though and will kick my butt if needed.

What are some of your love languages?

Sana: Presents, treats and family time / building a community together.

Rosie: Quality time and words of affirmation.

Do you consider your relationship to be romantic? What does romance look like for you?

Sana: We are practical romantics. Rosie building and installing our kitchen shelves was the most romantic thing she’d done for me in a while. Or making me instant noodles at 1am because I’m hungry. I think I used to have a more whimsical idea of romance, more movie and book inspired romance, but I’ve realized that placing outside expectations on our relationship, which has no outside precedence, is not setting ourselves up for success.

Rosie: Yea. It looks a lot of different ways - the other day it meant unclogging the bathroom sink. Lol! But it also can be a little steamier i.e., our trip to the outdoor hot tubs at Piedmont Springs was our recent favorite.

What color and animal do you feel best reflects the other person?

Sana: Turquoise/hazel like her eyes. Giraffe.

Rosie: Marigold yellow. Flying squirrel.

How does your ethnic background / identity bring you closer? How does each of your upbringings effect your relationship?

Sana: We struggle through it and learn so much from each other! It’s certainly not easy. When people fetishize mixed race babies, I often find myself thinking “y’all don’t know how much emotional labor these cute babies’ parents did to bridge their families, and cultures! Obsess over that!”.

Rosie: There’s still a lot I’m learning/ have a long way to go in getting to know Sana’s fam and deeply rooted Indian identity, but I think going to India for the first time last year was a really great way for me to better understand how / where she was raised and to see all of the places, things, people etc. that she holds so near and dear.

What are 5 qualities that you believe are essential to a healthy & happy relationship?

Sana:
1. Trust
2. Acceptance
3. Family/Community
4. Attraction
5. Fun

Rosie:
1. Trust
2. Honesty
3. Laughter
4. Physical attraction
5. Empathy

Have you ever fought? How do you navigate disagreements? How do you reconcile?

Sana: We definitely fight. I’m a fighter and have quite a temper, which I’m working on reigning in. But I also love that Rosie is learning to fight back, and articulate her feelings better in our fights. I feel strongly about healthy fighting, so I think that’s what we’re working towards. No use in bottling stuff up and having it bubble over.

Rosie: We fight. We fought this morning. It takes time, but we are eventually able to come back together to talk about why we were so upset and move on from there.

What does your love feel like to one another? When do you feel closest to each other?

Sana: I think we’re both a bit surprised that we’re the one?! How did the hot girl from a different world that I met on Tinder end up being my partner and best friend in this life? It’s wild! I love nights when we stay up late chatting in bed instead of just passing out at the end of a hard day and spending most of our times glued to our devices.

Rosie: At first we had a very intense, passionate burning kind of love that has since simmered in to a more warm, cuddly, secure kind of love. “Simmered” prob isn’t the best way to describe it haha. I think we’re still crazy in love and hella attracted to each other, but in a more stable way. I feel closest right before bed when we are chatting about anything and everything.

Where do you see your relationship this time next year?

Sana: Less stressed, taking more vacations, still going on the cutest hikes with our pup.

Rosie: I see us continuing to build our cute lil life together with our pup.