Loving Ourselves, Loving Each Other: Sarah & Biddy

Sarah Anwer Khan is a journalist and host. She's currently in Los Angeles pursuing TV writing. In her spare time, she binges Desus & Mero clips and skates. 

Biddy is a content creator, digital personality, food lover, loud mouth and a true Libra sun/Aries rising at heart. According to Sarah, she wakes up and chooses violence everyday but really she’s just very unfiltered.

Tell me the story of how you met. What do you remember thinking about one another?

Biddy: We met at a party but didn’t know until later because it was in passing (not really but kinda - I just don’t remember her), we then officially met on Twitter and met in person a few months later. I really thought my first time hanging out with her was my last time and that she would never speak to me again. Long story short: I basically got into a crazy argument with someone that same day and told Sarah to be ready to fight because I told the person to “pull up”. She looked terrified but also held me down the entire time. I thought I scared her away, turns out she actually fell in love with me after that.

Sarah: FUNNY story lol. Unknowingly to both of us, we met at a party in Hollywood hills. I was with my ex boyfriend at the time. I remember taking a picture of him and a few of his friends. There was a girl in the picture and I remember thinking she was really pretty. I took the picture and carried on with the party. A year later, I tweeted that I needed a south asian stylist for a red carpet event. A few people tagged Biddy under the tweet and we started chatting, I was like hold up - you’re in LA and Muslim… How have we NEVER met? We would text here and there and one morning I texted her and was like “I’m coming over.” We spent the whole day together and we were talking about a party in the hills we went to and it turns out SHE WAS THE GIRL IN THE PICTURE!!! Now we have been inseparable since. :)

How would each of you describe your relationship? What’s your favorite thing about your relationship?

Biddy: Sisterly

Sarah: We are the same and the complete opposite at the same time. We share a comfort with each other where we will just share a look and know exactly what the other is thinking. I will push her buttons on purpose and she will push mine, but it’s always out of love. I am very soft and sensitive and she is teaching me how to be more stubborn and hard.

Compliment shower: name 5 things you love about one another?

Biddy:
1. Her effortless beauty - always shines through, in her personality and her looks! 2. Her culinary skills - she always cooks me something and its ALWAYS good!
3. Her willingness to help (literally when I didn’t know her, she sent me a gig to audition for because she thought I would be good for the part? Who does that?! Thats a sweetheart right there!)
4. Her gossip
5. Her hilarious yet dumb tweets

Sarah: Biddy is fearless and does not back down. She is ALWAYS hustling, she has all her priorities right. She is loving and kind and only a few people get to experience that and I’m blessed to be one of them. She is literally herself, she’s not fake whatsoever. She isn’t afraid to call people out. She’s always down to help her loved ones.

What is one thing you’ve taught/learned from one another?

Biddy: I haven’t learned anything yet! But I hope to learn her secret Biryani recipe.

Sarah: She’s teaching me how to own my body, face, personality, I’m actually a bit shy and Biddy helps me come out of my shell more.

Describe your favorite memory together, one you’ll never forget & why.

Biddy: Grabbing her tit for the first time on Instagram LIVE, that’s how I know she’s my bestie!

Sarah: Definitely when we both realized we watch and listen to the same Bollywood songs -- to the point where we can do the dances PERFECTLY.

In what ways do you support each other? How do you inspire each other creatively?

Biddy: We support each other by sharing ideas, uplifting each other through words and linking each other to jobs we feel are best for one another! Creatively she inspires me to cook in the kitchen or find a man who will cook in the kitchen for me.

What are some of your love languages?

Biddy: Insulting each other, sending each other 90s + 2000s Bollywood songs when we rediscover childhood songs randomly, doing ridiculous choreography to the same songs, food, taking photos and gossiping.

Sarah: Quality time and acts of service! Biddy and I relate to each other a lot because we’re both living alone -- without our families. We don’t have any family in California. We help each other in ways other people wouldn’t understand. Sometimes you just need to chill in each others living room and feed each other.

Do you consider your relationship to be romantic? What does romance look like for you?

Biddy: Kind of. She always comes and cuddles up to me on the couch at the most random times, then proceeds to record random TikToks.

Sarah: Yes! I think romance can be found in all types of relationships. In 2020, I vowed to treat all my friends with romance. We gift each other with food, fav makeup, go on picnic dates, help each other with work, -- as long as there is mutual love, anything and everything can be romantic.

What color and animal do you feel best reflects the other person?

Biddy: Pink. She’s literally the definition of divine feminine. She’s Bambi.

Sarah: Sometimes she is pink other times she is a fire red. I once wrote her a letter describing her as a Venus flytrap because they are so beautiful to look at and if you fuck with them they will devour you. :)

How does your ethnic background / identity bring you closer? How does each of your upbringings effect your relationship?

Biddy: We both speak Urdu so it’s comforting and she feels like home. I think we’re close because both our families don’t live in state and we’re both in a creative field - so we understand some of the battles we had to experience to get here.

Sarah: We’re both Muslim girls living alone in a big ass city in this weird ass entertainment/ media world -- it’s hard. Our co-workers don’t understand the small things that we have to deal with on the daily. Getting texts from family members that our shirt wasn’t “appropriate”. Other Muslims on the internet constantly slut shaming us, telling us to die, etc. We don’t talk about how hard it is being a Muslim woman on the internet - especially if you have somewhat of a light on you. We’ve both gotten death threats from other Muslims because we showed too much skin or we aren’t what they want us to be. We’re also the youngest in our family and the only ones who didn’t go down a “normal” career path. We just get each other on levels no one else would understand.

What are 5 qualities that you believe are essential to a healthy & happy relationship?

Biddy: Trust, communication, loyalty, celebrating each other and lots of laughter over a good meal.

Sarah: Communication! Laughter. Knowing each others boundaries. Respect. And for Biddy, texting her my dinner menu for the night just in case she wants to come over lol.

Have you ever fought? How do you navigate disagreements? How do you reconcile?

Biddy: We haven’t fought yet! She would probably apologize to me if we did though. 🥰

Sarah: We haven’t fought yet, but for the most part, whenever that time comes, I think we’ll both just sit down and hash everything out.

What does your love feel like to one another? When do you feel closest to each another?

Biddy: It feels warm, organic and genuine. I feel closest to her when I cuss her out in Urdu.

Sarah: She is my family, my sister. I feel closest to her when we are both in our sweats watching Bollywood music videos and dancing to them.

Where do you see your relationship this time next year?

Biddy: Stronger. We’ll probably have even more hilarious and wild experiences by then.

Sarah: Probably the same, stronger, but still watching and dancing to Bollywood songs.

Do you believe that relationships between womxn/femmes are essential to each of your wellbeing? Explain why these kinds of relationships are important for growth & safety.

Biddy: I feel like no one understands a woman better than another woman. Sisterhood is important. Only we know what we experience in terms of family and cultural matters, relationships, friendships and just navigating the world in general as a woman. It’s tough, and being vulnerable is ALSO tough. It’s important to find people you can share a different side of yourself with and communicate with on a healthy level.

Sarah: YES! I purposely surround myself with womxn all the time. It’s just safer, easier, comfortable, warm. I’m heard and listened to. I am loved and love back. Womxn need a space just to exist without fearing about anything. I am so thankful for my group of friends. I know I can support them and be vulnerable about my feelings. I’ve always wanted this and I can’t believe I get to live a life with so much love and understanding.